If you’re bored in the bedroom and want to introduce toys into your sex play, you can’t just show up with a toy and expect your partner to be all in. There are some that will jump on board no questions asked and that is great! If you happen to be the one that wants to bring sex toys into play with a shy or timid partner, you should talk about it first.
Sex isn’t just body on body, well it is, but it’s much more than just two bodies touching. Whether you like to admit it or not, your mind is involved and you have to be open to trying new things and new positions.
Pick a time that you and your partner can talk about the bedroom without being in the bedroom. Bedroom talk might not be the ideal conversation over steak and wine, but if you do most of your talking over dinner, then bring it up over steak and wine.
Don’t just say, I want to bring sex toys into our sexy time. More than likely, it will throw up an unseen barrier within your partner. Bring up that you read an interesting article (and if you have, share it with them), or that your friend admitted to adding a vibrator, anal toy, or whatever it is you would like to try into their bedroom and it got you thinking that you too would like to bring a sex toy into your sex action.
Ask your partner his or her feelings, thoughts, and opinions. Don’t get all Debbie Downer and start throwing ultimatums if they say NO immediately. When you use ultimatums to get what you want, it rarely ends well for anyone involved. If your partner is terrified or nervous, sit down together and look online at sex toys that you might like to try. Do your research. Don’t just buy the first sex toy you see online. Trust us, buying a 15 inch dildo is very different to buying a 6 inch dildo. One might be intimidating once out of the package and the other not so much. That intimidating one could thwart your sexy evening quicker than you can blink.
Remember when it comes to sex, communication is key. No one likes surprises. Talk about what you want so you can have the most pleasurable experience together.