How to Tell if She’s a Green Tea Bitch

Basic Bitch or Green Tea Bitch? That is the question. Okay so it’s not really THE question. You’ve probably heard the term “basic bitch” thrown around like money raining down on a stripper in a nightclub. God knows we’ve all seen the photos of that stereotypical “basic bitch” swigging coffee from a mug the size of her face, hair in a messy yet stylish bun, wearing Uggs in the middle of damn summer, and always with the hottest gadgets and designer handbags. Now take that and multiply it by, oh say, a thousand.

Not to be outdone, China, gave us “Green Tea Bitch”. Picture it, if you will, a beautiful porcelain skin exotic Asian beauty with stick straight hair, big doe eyes, and eye lashes that say come hither. They appear innocent, friendly, and are the epitome of gorgeous. Here’s your rude awakening, if you’re crushing on a “Green Tea Bitch”; this girl may dress and act to portray herself as pure and innocent but in reality she is a gold-digging slut that won’t think twice before she sells her own body or steps on someone’s throat to get to a higher place. The term “Green Tea Bitch” was first coined by Chinese netizens when female models and actresses were revealed to be paid escorts/prostitutes during a fashion expo in 2013.

Sometimes makes you wish Scarlett Johansen was a high paid escort right? You could maybe afford a night of bliss with her if you saved up your money!

Now if you are side-eyeing your Asian girl friends wondering if they are Green Tea Bitches, here are 5 tell-tale signs:

They normally keep their hair long, straight with bangs or parted in the centre with skin that is that aforementioned porcelain shade. Most of them aren’t bombshells, but not ugly either and their favorite expression is to open their eyes wide and look at people (especially men) cluelessly.

Girls, if you suddenly realize your boyfriend somehow became friends with this potential GTB on social networks, he has her phone number and they actually have been chatting for a while and you have no idea how they even know each other, congratulations, your boyfriend has a GTB friend.

The potential GTB always tells people she doesn’t drink alcohol, but always drinks “under pressure”, and always gets shit-faced faster than anyone else.

Speaks softly as if she hasn’t eaten for 3 days. You know that whisper quiet voice you can barely hear. That’s what we mean.

And the clincher is she normally has a bunch of “spares” or guy friends. These guys are very specific in her life. One will bring her lunch, one will help her with her work, one will fix her computer, and so on, but she will make damn sure everyone knows she’s single even if she always has a group of guys around her 24/7.

So, there you have it. The “Green Tea Bitch” term isn’t just used as a term for Asian girls who fit the description. It can actually be of any race. We all probably know one or two chicks that fit these traits perfectly. Just make sure that you don’t fall for their bullshit!